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I’ve never been engaged or married, but I can only imagine the challenges of combining two lives into one. With that being said if you’re willing to be proactive about your finances and communicate then there is no reason that you can’t make it with the one you love, or at least like a lot.
My mom used to tell me that you can tell a lot about a person based on how their shoes look. For example, people with scuffed shoes tend to not pay attention to the details in life, while people with polished well maintained shoes tend to be meticulous and detail oriented. I believe that the same principles can be applied for a person’s lifestyle habits and finances.
Pay attention to the writing on the WALLS prior to tossing the rice: There are very few people out there who are not governed by some sort of budget constraints. It’s a fact of life and the majority of us are very accepting of it, but it’s the ones who act like they don’t have budget constraints that you need to watch out for. Guys, if you’re dating an elementary school teacher who regularly consumes Coach bags, high end pumps and trips to the salon then you should notice the writing on the wall. The same goes for you ladies, if you run into a gentleman who has an obsession for high-end expensive toys, but works as the night janitor at the Quickie Mart then you need to look at the writing on the wall. The key to surviving financially is getting in where you fit in. That’s a really tough notion for a lot of American consumers to accept. Having nice things is cool, but when you do it at the expense of saving or paying bills then you have a problem.
Set realistic goals together and make adjustments if necessary: Believe it or not I had to scroll through a long list of married friends before I could find any who had taken the time to discuss their finances prior to tying the knot. I finally caught up with a good friend (Latoya Jones) who just happens to be a newly wed and this is what she had to say, “You have to be on the same page as far as finances and spending habits or it’s not going to work. Inheriting debt and realizing that it’s not just your money, it’s our money is the toughest part of any union.” That should make you think twice before you blow the vacation money at the boats. Take the time to make a financial timeline that includes savings, retirement, investments and debt goals for the next 2, 5, 7 & 10 years. This can only make your situation better. Even if you do end up getting divorced in the future it just means that there will be more assets to split.
If a bad situation exists don’t get tied up in it: If a problem exists for your significant other, you should help them from a distance. Financially speaking, the only thing worse than having a spouse with bad credit and bad spending habits is getting sucked into the same derogatory cycle. Keep separate credit accounts or you can run the risk of having that information transferred to your credit bureau in error. I know it sounds crazy, but I’ve seen it hundreds of times. Also, be sure to inquire about that person’s past tax filings and possible child support issues before filing a joint tax return or opening joint bank accounts. The IRS doesn’t care how long you’ve been married, if they want the money they’re going to take it by any means necessary.
Things to look for or ask about: Expensive or obsessive habits: Does he always have to have the latest gadgets, cars or games? Does she spend more time at the mall then in the kitchen? These are things you want to talk about before you legally unite. Habits like this can carry very large credit card balances and very low savings account balances. Felony convictions: This could have a negative bearing on your ability to take an FHA home loan or a Small Business Administration loan if you ever decide to go into business for your self. Driving record: Remember, it’s a we thing now and if your spouses driving record is bad then there’s a good chance that your car insurance is going to go up. Do you have any kids that I should know about? If the answer is yes then be prepared to take a hit due to child support, or even back child support.
In short, you should do your own informal background check before you jump the broom. I know that sounds harsh, but do you really want to be tied to someone else’s financial burden for the next 5, 10 or 15 years? I’m not saying this should be a reason for you not to marry, but it should be something that you discuss in depth. Make them promise to do better for the both of you. Put it in your vows, once it’s in the vows it’s considered a promise, and if that person breaks a wedding vow then you have every right to pull an Eddie Murphy. Just remember there will be a ton of other reasons for you to get divorced, don’t let money be one of them.
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Fusion of Life & Money 
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